


Random Fandom One-Shots

by mystorycorner



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Vocaloid
Genre: F/F, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, More ships to come i promise, Multi, ill add more tags as I go, rated teen for bad words, self indulgent ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25009522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystorycorner/pseuds/mystorycorner
Summary: this was gonna be just three houses but i changed my mindalso sorry about inactivity oops
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Hatsune Miku/Kagamine Rin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Claude x Dimitri (1)

Claude x Dimitri (1)

The professor should’ve been surprised, really, to find Edelgard was already dead by the time he got there.

Nobody understood why he had fought with the other students, instead of assisting in the fight against Edelgard herself. The former students of the chivalrous Blue Lions house, combined with the chaotic Golden Deer, surely would’ve been fine fighting off the guards without his help. And letting the king himself approach the Flame Emperor alone was likely not something Byleth would live down.  
But it had to be done. The way he had plowed through the battle in the palace, heading straight for the throne room, it was clear this was a fight Dimitri needed to take on by himself.

He had no doubt Dimitri could win with ease. Edelgard was nothing short of a major threat, but she had foolishly chosen to take away the thing Dimitri loved most. Perhaps if she had thought about her decision a little more, she would’ve realised that all she did was give him less of a reason to spare her life.

However, she didn’t think, and frankly, she never would again. So, the professor simply sighed and made his way over to the horned demon laying dead at the boar king’s feet.

“Do you know where he is?” Byleth poked Edelgard’s corpse with the tip of his shoe.

“She never revealed his location, no.. luckily that woman was about as smart as she was tall.”

Well that caught Byleth’s attention.

“...Was that… meant to be a joke…?”

“Ah- perhaps I am getting a little too excited about being this close to the end,” Dimitri laughed awkwardly, casually, as if he didn’t just end a 6 year war. “...Do you think he would find it funny?”

Byleth noted that Claude would, indeed, like that joke, and Dimitri vowed to tell it again upon finding him.

After Edelgard declared war on the Church of Seiros, it only made sense for Dimitri to immediately oppose her. And no matter how much they tried to hide their relationship, nobody was surprised when Claude stayed by Dimitri’s side. Good thing he did, really, as it seemed without him Dimitri would’ve lost himself to madness immediately.  
And so, the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and the Leicester Alliance followed their leaders into battle. That was about as far as Byleth got before being thrown into a five year coma.

He expected a few things, upon waking up, and he was correct about most of them. The war was still raging, Lorenz still had awful hair, Sylvain and Felix were doing a terrible job at hiding their engagement rings, and poor Mercedes still could not cook for the life of her.

What he didn't expect was to find out that Claude, the new Duke Riegan and leader of the Alliance, had been recently kidnapped by the Adrestian Empire.

Forced to choose between himself and his soldiers, Claude had made the smarter choice of handing himself over and trusting his friends to help him eventually. Sadly, this left Dimitri without his beloved emotional support, and he was a wreck when Byleth found him.

It had taken a month to convince the prince- no, the king to stop brooding and get his shit together. Eleven months and a half after that making their way towards the Empire. Dimitri had predicted it would take another 2 months to end the war. Yet, upon Edelgard announcing the soon to be execution of Duke Riegan, it had taken only a surprising 12 days. Which left them in their current situation.

Dimitri pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, squinting at it with his working eye. That was another new thing, Dimitri losing an eye in the war. He may have been king, but Byleth was his teacher, and he wasn’t afraid to call his king out on being a bloody idiot at the best of times.

“You’d think the witch would be better at hiding her secrets, but Ashe found this in her mindless henchman’s pocket.” Dimitri gestured to the paper while reading it.

“Do you not intend to respect the dead?”

“Absolutely not. This piece of paper, professor, shows directions to dungeons hidden underneath the palace. No doubt hidden to let anyone down there starve to death upon the Empire’s defeat. Disgusting..”

“You believe Claude is down there?”

“He wasn’t anywhere else, was he? They’ve even found the Archbishop already.”

Taking Byleth’s silence as agreement, Dimitri headed towards the doors of the throne room, but not without hesitating to take one last, almost sad look at Edelgard. When he turned away again, someone was blocking the doors.

“Your majesty, professor,” Seteth began, “Lady Rhea is safe, yet I regret to say she is not in the best of health. She requests to see you, both of you, immediately.”

Dimitri frowned, “Rhea will have to excuse us for a while, I’m afraid, so we may find Clau-.. Duke Riegan.”

“Your majesty, I understand, but the soldiers can do that work. Lady Rhea hasn’t seen you in years-“

“She’s waited for years, and she will wait an hour more. I understand that Flayn adores fish, Seteth, but that does not require you to act like you have the IQ of one. Now out of my way.”

Dimitri had been slightly unhinged after losing Claude, but now he stood there growling at Seteth like some kind of animal. He was close, much too close to allow anyone getting in his way. Not Edelgard, not Hubert, and certainly not Lady fucking Rhea.

Seteth took the hint and stepped out of the way, and Byleth quietly apologised while following the king into the hallway. They came to a stop in front of a large portrait.

The painted figure of Edelgard sneered down at them, and Dimitri frowned softly at her before tracing his fingers along the frame.

“Professor, behind this portrait should be- ah.” Moving the painting out the way revealed a staircase.

Byleth peered down, “Edelgard was.. full of secrets, I suppose. Dimitri, you truly believe Claude is down there?”

“...I don’t believe he is, professor. I know he is. Don’t bother gathering the soldiers. They are tired, they deserve to finally rest. And… call me selfish, but I want to be the one who finds him.”

“Understood. Would you like me to also stay behind?” Once again, it likely sounded absurd to let the king go alone, but as his professor Byleth knew it was right.

“No. I need you there with me. He will want to see you. And I… need you also. I may need you to convince me he’s real, and not another ghost haunting me.”

“Very well. After you, your majesty.”

Dimitri led them down the staircase. It was old, even crumbling in a few spots. Byleth found himself doubting anyone could be at the bottom, but Dimitri deserved to at least know. Because if part of Byleth was wondering if Edelgard had already killed Claude, Dimitri was likely preparing the funeral in his head already.

And for a moment, that seemed to be the case. All the cells were empty, long abandoned. Dimitri was beginning to panic, and visibly so. Until a light shone in the corner of his eye, and bought his attention to a lit cell at the end of the hall.

Claude was bruised, and his right leg was barely supporting him, but Goddess, he was alive, and the brilliant bastard was casually smiling.

“‘Bout time you got here! I almost thought you forgot about me. Hey Teach, long time no see!” He smiled more as he looked up, and softened slightly, “...Hi, Dima… radiant as always...”

“CLAUDE-!!”

Dimitri ran to him, and before Byleth could even consider how to get him out, Dimitri was prying the bars of the cell apart with... his hands?

Well. That happened.

He could barely see Claude with how badly Dimitri was smothering him, but he let the two have their moment together. There was no need to reassure Dimitri he was real. Claude was exactly how Byleth remembered him, except for the small beard he had apparently grown in the last 6 years.

“Glad ya finally came for me.” If that was one of Claude’s jokes, Dimitri didn’t catch on at all.

“I’m… sorry… I’m so sorry for how badly she’s treated you and how long I took, and I was so scared we wouldn’t make it before she executed you and-”

“Wooooahh calm down, your kingliness,” Claude laughed, “I don’t care how long it took, I knew you’d come get me, so don’t sweat it. Can’t believe you got Teach back without me though. C’mon Byleth, were you waiting for me to be gone before making your entrance?”

Byleth smiled a little and played along, “perhaps, it’d be hard to get anyone’s attention now that you’re apparently growing a rat on your face. But we should be going now, no doubt Dimitri has annoyed Lady Rhea by shrugging her off and disappearing down here.”

“Oooh, annoying Rhea? Someone’s in trouble.”

“Oh hush, both of you.” Dimitri gently lifted Claude into his arms, and the three of them left the dungeons.

…

“Oh, I almost forgot, Claude-!! I have the best joke about Edelgard to tell you, the Professor thinks you’ll love it-!!”


	2. Vocaloid Chatfic (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Vocaloid 6 have one collective braincell and Luka refuses to share. This sadly means Miku is literally unable to function around a certain bow-wearing Kagamine she likes.
> 
> also miku and len are a brotp

[HatsuneMiku has created chat]

[HatsuneMiku has added KagamineRin, KagamineLen, MegurineLuka, MEIKO and KAITO to chat]

KagamineLen: miku what the shit is this

HatsuneMiku: ??

MegurineLuka: Don’t we already have a groupchat?

HatsuneMiku: yeh well.. Kaito is admin there, and he kept adding spam bots, so I took matters into my own hands! >:3

KAITO: Spam?!!! But they were so friendly-!!

KagamineLen: okay yea u right miku i can get on board with a new groupchat that isn’t ran by a dumbass

HatsuneMiku: fuuuuuck yeh!!

KAITO: :(

MegurineLuka: Hello. Mei says stop swearing.

KagamineLen: cant she tell us herself??

MegurineLuka: No. I’m still teaching her how to use her new phone.

HatsuneMiku: big boomer moment..

MegurineLuka: Don’t be rude. She’s trying.

HatsuneMiku: ok boomer

KagamineLen: ok boomer

KAITO: aHAHAHAHA! MEI CANT FIGURE OUT A PHONE? SHE’S SO SILLY

MegurineLuka: She’s the silly one? Hm..

MegurineLuka: Kaito, did you hear? If you stand naked on the roof, and attempt to dance like a ballerina, the universe will reward you with free ice cream.

KAITO: really?!

MegurineLuka: Mmhm.

KagamineLen: Luka no-

MegurineLuka: Luka yes.

KAITO: brb

KagamineLen: KAITO NO-

[KAITO is offline]

[MEIKO is online]

MEIKO: Test message

HatsuneMiku: Huh

MEIKO: Test message

MEIKO: Luka, am I doing this right? Can everyone see the things I say now?

MegurineLuka: Yes.

KagamineLen: hey mei

MEIKO: Hello Len. I hear you were saying bad words earlier.

KagamineLen: wh

KagamineLen: hOL UP THAT WAS ALL MIKU NOT ME.

HatsuneMiku: ASSHOLE-

KagamineLen: IT’S THE TRUTH

HatsuneMiku: YOU SAID DUMBASS

KagamineLen: YOU SAID FUCK

MEIKO: Don’t say bad words, please.. What if Rin sees? She’s still innocent

HatsuneMiku: sorry not-mom :(

KagamineLen: sorry not-mom :(

[KagamineRin is online]

KagamineRin: hiiii!! ^o^

KagamineLen: speak of the devil

MegurineLuka: I’d like to believe I’m the devil here.

KagamineLen: u right. Speak of the angel

KagamineRin: Lenny!! :D

KagamineLen: hey rinny

HatsuneMiku: Rin!!

KagamineRin: Miku!! ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"❤️

MegurineLuka: Gay.

HatsuneMiku: SHHHUTT UP

MegurineLuka: What, Hatsune? Could it be you still haven’t confessed to her? It can’t be helped. Perhaps I’m the one more suited to romance out of the two of us~ I am the superior lesbian, after all.

HatsuneMiku: FUCK YOU LUKA I HAVE A WHOLEASS EXPO.

KagamineRin: ,,??

KagamineLen: ddont worry about it rinny

KagamineRin: Everyone has such boooring names,, can we change them?? :0

KagamineLen: ye cmere ill show you how

KagamineRin: Yay!!

HatsuneMiku: does everyone see what we change them to??

MegurineLuka: No, they’re individual nicknames per phone.

HatsuneMiku: got it

[HatsuneMiku changed KAITO’s nickname to Local Himbo]

[HatsuneMiku changed MEIKO’s nickname to Technology Grandma]

[HatsuneMiku changed MegurineLuka’s nickname to Bitch-san]

[HatsuneMiku changed KagamineLen’s nickname to Gay Rat]

[Hatsune Miku changed KagamineRin’s nickname to Future Wife]

Future Wife: Huh?? :0??

Gay Rat: lmao nice

Gay Rat: wAIT MIKU OH MY FUCKIGN GOD-

HatsuneMiku: what??

Future Wife: Miku what does my name mean?? (・・;)

HatsuneMiku: wym

HatsuneMiku: WAIT YOU CAN ALL SEE THOSE??

HatsuneMiku: LUKA YOU BITCH-

Bitch-san: Ufufu~

Gay Rat: Miku I’m literally going to slap you

[Bitch-san changed HatsuneMiku’s nickname to Pigtailed Dumbass]

Future Wife: am I gonna marry Miku??

Pigtailed Dumbass: hhhHHHDHDHFHFHH,,

Pigtailed Dumbass: BBYE

Gay Rat: istfg miku text me you idiot

[Pigtailed Dumbass is offline]

Future Wife: Did I upset Miku?? :(

Gay Rat: no ur good

Future Wife: okiii, I’m gonna go now ^o^ bye bye everyone!

Bitch-san: This was amusing. Goodbye everyone

[Future Wife is offline]

[Bitch-san is offline]

[Gay Rat is offline]

————

[Technology Grandma is online]

Technology Grandma: Why did I just find Kaito on the ground after falling off the roof and naked?

Technology Grandma: Wait what does my name mean??

Technology Grandma: I am FINE with technology, thank you very much, I’ll have you know that back in my day we-


End file.
